*Originally this was a reply to someones post on Facebook but I thought it would be beneficial if I posted it for everyone and added to it*

Depression comes from experience...the only issue is after the experience or event is over...you continue to repeat the cycle to yourself. In such depression also comes from your beliefs...such as you believe no one will listen because of a past experience...then the cycle keeps repeating because you keep telling yourself it will happen... and then when you look at things that way...everything goes that way, you make it that way without realizing it.

You cannot cure depression with medicine and you cannot cure it by talking about it in therapy, you have to want to cure it first. You have to want it bad enough to do what feels impossible. Atleast this is 'my' belief.

My depression came from abuse and a hell hole, but it was those beliefs and me continuing it that dragged it on. I had to have someone tell me that it was actually 'me' creating my problems and to stop and listen to myself...they asked me where it came from and when it happened...then asked me if its still happening and why do I think so lowly of myself based on these past experiences. Why does one persons words change everything about my world? Why can't I create my world how I want it mentally.

My journey has only begun, but I know once I get a job I'm one set further, such as going to The Pathway Project and learning about myself gave me the biggest direction in my life.

I have my dreams and I will make them happen, I can promise you that.

Now you may be going "Great now what the heck do I do?" and I can tell you I've been there, I had no direction. An amazing duo once said "Find yellow", in such I did and then they sent me out the door and told me "Find positive things". I can tell you it was like a slap to the face, it may sound silly but I never noticed so many positive things until I stopped and looked for them. Somehow this changed me, it was like telling me I could shape my world and find what I want in it.

If I wanted hell and looked for it, it came to me. If I wanted something to smile about it, I found it.

I find looking at simple things adds so much joy to my day. My aunt may have looked at me funny when I bought a used antique looking teacup and saucer, but I can tell you that everytime I drink tea out of it...it just adds so much joy for me, I feel like a princess or something, like I became worthy of this pretty cup. But if anything, I made the cup worthy of me, why can't I make everything worthy of me? Why can't I just make happiness worthy of me? Honestly there is no reason you can't.

I know it sounds silly but I'm sure we've all had a similar experience, I mean why do you dress up or put makeup on or anything? Why do we eat well when we do? Because we feel better when we do, we feel more amazing and you damn well make that worthy of you.

We all have dreams right? I have some pretty silly dreams myself. I mean I have this dream of making a Victorian style bedroom, reading nook and office(Why not just say house Kitty?) for myself. Why? Because I am a freaking princess and I don't care if I sound conceded by saying that. I want a wardrobe of Victorian style fashion, a new computer, too many books to ever read and a family. I don't care what this sounds like to anyone and I'm going to make it happen slowly but surely. As I said before 'I can promise you that'.